does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
