this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize