Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
my poor anus
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize