I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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