I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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