When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
