I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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