he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just gargled with NyQuil
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
