i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
