your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
