ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize