I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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