I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
