why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This house was built for laser tag.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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