I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
