did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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