we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
