hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
