just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
