I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
