Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
