I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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