You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
