Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
