Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
