And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
