my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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