U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
