i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize