"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
