You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
