When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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