i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize