dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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