I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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