She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When are your genitals available?
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