No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
