just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
