respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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