I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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