So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just tell him i said nine months
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
