don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
