dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
