McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
