hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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