Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
