I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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