Whod you bang
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
