i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
