yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
