I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
