Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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