Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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