BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
