you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
