I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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