I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Pants are for mortals
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
