I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
nutella sex= disaster
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The Olympian is in my bed
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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