Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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