Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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